Approval

How many times have you asked "girl how does this look on me”? Is this cute?” hoping your girl will have your back and agree that your freakum dress fits you perfectly.  We all seek approval from our family, friends, lovers, and the general public.  Think about it, how many times have you posted a new picture on Facebook and kept checking back to see how many "likes" or "comments" it’s received.  As people, we yearn for people to let us know that we are going in the right direction, making the right decision, and are just "good" at whatever the task is at hand.  We feed off compliments, confirmations, and reassurance.  But what happens when you don't get that approval?

Take a step back, and think about a time that you were assured in a decision, but everyone; family, friends, church members, boyfriend, girlfriend-- thought it was stupid?  What made you stay firm in your decision?  Was it God?  Was it a little “voice” inside you?  Did you get a sign from somewhere advising you to “go with your gut”?  Or was it the goal of you trying to “prove everybody wrong”?  Whichever you give the credit to for helping you disregard the lack of approval you had, you made the decision and have to live with it; including all the good and bad it may have brought to you….

I can remember when I made the decision to go to Hampton University, a moderate size Black college in Virginia, in a place that some of my family members refer to as “the middle of nowhere”.  I had no family or friends there, oh, and not to mention, no scholarship.  I had received full scholarships from 5 schools, partial scholarships to 7, not to mention a scholarship to Xavier University in New Orleans (my 2^nd choice school) and gotten an offer to dance at Miles College—something I really enjoyed to do.  I just heard God telling me “Hampton is the school you want to go to, and you belong there”.

 So despite the advice from friends and family, even my own youth minister at the time asking why would I spend so much money going to college when I could go for free, I enrolled at HU….13 days before freshman orientation was supposed to start I get a phone call from an unknown number.  I pick up, slightly confused because I was not expecting a phone call, and slightly annoyed because I did not know who it wasJ.  It was the Mayor’s Office (Atlanta) calling me to informed me that I had received a scholarship to Hampton University; a full scholarship at that. During my time at Hampton, I met a host of friends and acquaintances, the President of the United States and led an organization on campus.

People, when God speaks, the “little voice” inside you, or your gut feeling speaks, you have to move.  There’s a catch to this. Sometimes that feeling doesn’t get you the approval of everyone else? So what do you do?  I’m reminded of a scripture; Romans 8:31 “For if God is for us, who can be against us?”  Let him lead you to the right direction, everyone else will approve after a while.  Trust yourself, believe in yourself, and know that you will be okay with whatever you chose to do.  The approval of your family and friends will come after a while.  The “likes” will add up.  Just make sure you approve of yourself.

-Dani